Separation Anxiety Answer:

Hi Loraine

It can be terribly upsetting leaving a child who seems so upset, I know exactly how it feels.

I would suggest two tactics:

First, it seems that your son is very insecure about being left at the moment (it is not unusual for children to go through phases like this) so it would be a good idea if he could keep with him something of home or something that belongs to you. A favorite cuddly toy, and maybe a pullover of yours which smells of you. This way he can comfort himself with these things when he is feeling sad.

Secondly, you need to enlist the staff's help to make the parting very quick and painless. A member of staff needs to hold his hand while you give him a quick kiss, say good bye and leave immediately. If necessary prising his fingers off as quickly as possible then going. You need to be out of sight as soon as possible so that the staff can distract him onto a toy or game.

I don't recommend spending time in his class until you are sure he has got over this phase. It only makes it worse for him. Ideally, the next time he sees you should be when it is time to go home.

If your son knows there is nothing he can do to keep you with him he will soon settle down to play happily. For your sake it would be a good idea to remain out of sight but maybe so you can hear how quickly he settles down. This would be reassuring to you, as it is never pleasant leaving a crying child!

Alternatively, if it is allowed, you could ring the school 15, 20 minutes after you have left to find out if he has settled down. Almost certainly he will have done, and will probably be acting as if there had never been a problem!

I hope that helps. I have several pages on separation anxiety on my website for further reading:

Childhood Separation Anxiety.

Good luck!

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Separation anxiety answer