Most children will demonstrate some or all of
the behavior examples below! How to deal with them?



obstinate child

Behavior examples:

'NO!'



From an early age children like to assert their independence. This is often in the form of them saying 'no!' as often as possible. This can seem quite cute in a very little child, but it is important to establish right at the start that 'no' is not always an option.

What can you do about your child's 'NOs'?

This is one (of many!) behavior examples which can be tricky to deal with. If your child says 'no' all the time, try to ask questions that don't need a 'yes' or 'no' answer.

For example, don't say 'Do you want to eat supper now?' Instead, say 'We're eating supper now. Do you want orange juice or milk?'

This will make your child feel like he is making his own choices. Your child is learning to think independently. This is a good thing. Be patient and your child will grow tired of saying 'no.'


Toddler Whining



This is one of those behavior examples that can often get us down more than anything else! Children who whine are often tired, bored, hungry or thirsty. They do pick up on the fact that whining gets your attention so it can become a habit.

What can you do about whining?

When your children whines, try to ignore it. Then, when they stop, give them attention. This teaches your children that whining is not the way to get your attention.
Tell your children that you can understand better when they talk in a 'grown-up' voice.
If this doesn't work, keep trying. The whining may get worse before it gets better.
Remember, this behavior example is particularly common, and children need to hear things over and over before they learn.
child fight

Child Fighting



Fighting is a behavior example which can be particularly distressing for parents to deal with. It takes time for children to learn how to share and take turns when they are playing with other children. No child gets along well with friends all the time.


What can you do about fighting?

Children who are arguing are best left alone to sort their problems out by themselves. If the argument develops into a fight you will need to intervene. Split them up giving both some 'time out' to calm down. Later you can encourage a discussion to try to resolve things but this is not always possible. If you can't get down to the bottom of the problem, leave it well alone. It is most likely that they are both to blame. The fight will be forgotten by them far more quickly than by you!


Child Lying



This one of those tricky behavior examples to deal with. Children lie for various reasons depending on their age. Most often it is to avoid trouble! It can be difficult to deal with and if you cannot be sure that your child lying, give them the benefit of the doubt rather than risk wrongly accusing them.


What can you do about lying?

When you know that your child is telling the truth praise them as much as you can and let them understand that by telling the truth they have got themselves out of trouble. Try to be as honest as possible yourself and talk about honesty and telling the truth when all is calm. The boy who cried 'wolf' is an interesting story to tell and the moral is quite easy for children to understand. You will not be able to prevent your child from lying occasionally but if they can trust you not to be cross if they tell you the truth they will get into good habits in time.
It is sometimes difficult not to be cross about the misbehaviour, but it is important to let your child know you are happy that they have told the truth: 'What you did was wrong but I am very pleased you told the truth, so we will say no more about it'.


Stealing Child



Very young children don't understand the concept of stealing, so it is best not to make too much of this behavior example. Simply explain that the toy/item belongs to someone else and they shouldn't take it.

What can you do about stealing?

As they get older, it can become a problem. Make sure that your child is made to return the object to whoever he or she stole it from, whether it was from a friend, a shop or you. They must hand it back and apologize. The embarrassment will often be enough to make them think twice before stealing again. Most children steal at one time or another, it does not mean that they will become hardened criminals, so try not to worry about it too much.

Dangerous or hurtful behavior.



You cannot afford to take the time to reason or explain why you are cross if your child is acting dangerously or is hurting someone.

What can you do about dangerous or hurtful behavior?

If your child is hurting someone or doing something dangerous, such as playing with the burners on the stove, say 'no' and put a stop to it right away. After you have stopped the behavior, move your child away from the dangerous area, and explain why what your child was doing was wrong.





Back to 'Controlling Behavior'.

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